Night of the Closing Throat

No, not an attractive image. But I was exhausted and anxious and afraid to sleep. In retrospect, there are probably many other better looking ways to express the anxiety, but this was spontaneous and a good looking journal entry had nothing to do with anything.

(I was having an allergic reaction and my throat was blistering and felt like it was closing. Awful feeling.)

Old Wounds, Old Nightmares Revisited

I cut my hands every time I tried to touch you
On the sharp rusty nail edges of your boy face:
Ear to ear grin of a child or a snake.

Veneer of charm ran like melting wax.
You boiled within. Erupted fire and disengorged a rain of slicing sharpness.

Being large I could not force myself through the tiny doorway.
On my knees, face pressed against its frame, inhaling the sweetness of the world beyond,
I clenched my jaws and braced against the rush of your hot fists.

"No More!"

September 20, 2005
Eight Days Prior to Hysterectomy

Cicada

A Digital Collage

Lol. I'm The Devil, Which Are You?

You are the Devil card. The Devil is based on the
figure Pan, Lord of the Dance. The earthy
physicality of the devil breeds lust. The
devil's call to return to primal instincts
often creates conflict in a society in which
many of these instincts must be kept under
control. Challenges posed by our physical
bodies can be overcome by strength in the
mental, emotional, and spiritual realms. Pan is
also a symbol of enjoyment and rules our
material creativity. The devil knows physical
pleasure and how to manipulate the physical
world. Material creativity finds its output in
such things as dance, pottery, gardening, and
sex. The self-actualized person is able to
accept the sensuality and usefulness of the
devil's gifts while remaining in control of any
darker urges. Image from The Stone Tarot deck.
http://hometown.aol.com/newtarotdeck/

Which Tarot Card Are You?
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